Robot Shopper

Last year I created a life-like robot of myself and programmed him to love shopping. I keep him hidden in the basement and I'll go down there when the wife wants to shop and send up the robot to go. While she and the robot are gone for hours, I'll play a lot of poker, or watch hours of sports on television. I'm actually surprised that it has worked for so long, because the way I have him programmed, he obviously barely seems like a man.

I made a bit of a mistake at first. I programmed him initially to love chick-flicks, but then the wife started trying to make out with him and was pawing around on him at the movies. Gross. So I had to immediately wipe out that part of his programming. Although, I will say, we have been married for a long time, so every now and then, I'll send in the robot when she is in the mood.