Big Mouth Dog

I got home recently after a pretty rough day at work, got out of the car and was happy to see my dog waiting on the porch, but I noticed right away he had a bunch of empty beer cans around him. "What the hell is your problem, other than being ugly?" he said. "You know, you're kind of a piece of shit."

I have a talking dog, and even though I sometimes want to take him back for a regular one who doesn't talk or drink so much beer, you can never put the genie back in the bottle, as they say. I shut the door behind me and went straight to bed, dreaming of better, if not delusional times.