Boobs

I’m a heterosexual male -- just throwing that out there -- but I bet if I had boobs, I think they wouldn’t be those really super smooth, velvety-looking ones, but rather lopsided, all veiny and weird looking, perhaps even those tubular ones. I just feel that would be the case. I would feel really lucky if I had those really smooth ones though. I would probably go topless a lot, maybe have a lot of those wardrobe malfunctions.