Killer Resume

Some people say that my parents failed me. I watched a lot of scary and violent movies and when people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would say I wanted to be a killer. By the time I finally realized I wanted to be a CPA, I had nothing but a bunch of murders on my resume. I had to put them on there, because people had told me that large blocks of unaccounted time looked really bad and they generally throw those out.