Crooked Head

I don't like to drink to excess, but every now and then I get up the next morning, and although I feel fine, my face is crooked by about two millimeters. The other day, I got pulled over by the police. "Sir the reason I pulled you over is your face appears to be a bit crooked. Have you been drinking?" I said, "A little bourbon a few hours ago," and then I faced him squarely through the car window and smiled really wide. That was a mistake, because in the side-view mirror, it clearly made my face look massively crooked, and my mouth was stretching eerily about seven inches across my face.

"Step out of the car, sir. Your face is a scary, lopsided mess... I'm going to need you to take a couple tests."

Took a half hour to get back on the road. Next day, I bought a protractor and I check the angles of my head and face before driving.