Sycophancy

I've long viewed some religion as an oddly intense and quite amazing sycophancy. Here's my analogy: There's a social gathering among normal, working stiffs, and a rich guy joins the party, calls you aside and says "Hey, I'm looking for someone to do something for me. I will give you a boatload of money, if you'll go back in to the party and viciously kick all the men right in the wiener, flip over all the tables... I also want you to smash a couple of the women with the nacho platter until there's blood... then burn down the house."

Immediately, you run in and start kicking penises as hard and fast as you can.

The way I like to see this ending, is the guy steps in before you can do further damage and says "Whooooooaaaaa asshole. That was a test. The police are here already because I figured you for a taker.... you kinda look like a major ass-kisser. I've told the police that you have engaged in a major assault on everyone's penis and they are going to arrest you now